Fighting over toilet paper is a stupid game, because you might win the toilet paper, but you’re also going to win the bad card: seeding anger and frustration among people who are already angry and frustrated. Click that link if you want to see two women fighting over toilet paper at Walmart. Wouldn’t it be smarter to play a game whereby winning equates to amassing the best cards, or people, around you? How would that game work? If you win a follower into your clique or gang, that person is by definition weaker than the person you didn’t win. If you’re a social bully, the people you amass on your side are the weaker ones. What a stupid game! Swift’s lyrics are spot on: it’s like the card game War. The narrator of the song is dating some guy, and this apparently causes the whole school to talk trash about her. In the song, she imagines herself back in high school. Swift’s contribution was to put it in a specific context. The saying “Play stupid games, win stupid prizes” wasn’t invented by Swift or her team it’s been in the zeitgeist for years. “You play stupid games, you win stupid prizes” (from the song Miss Americana & The Heartbreak Prince). I was surprised to discover that I love it.” It was all over for me from there.) So, Swift’s most recent album includes a line that’s been stuck in my head, endlessly, for the past couple weeks: for saying to me one day, “Taylor Swift’s music is really great. It’s not something I like to spread around.) But anyway, I do love her music a lot. Okay, I’m not that’s another game I’ll definitely never win! Though I do have a Taylor Swift wall calendar, which should count for something. And a 50% chance of losing the next battle.īut why am I ranting about this silly childhood game? So, I am Taylor Swift’s biggest fan. And who wants that? Yay, your Ace just won a 2! Now you have an Ace and a 2. You also get to keep your high cards, but it’s a game of moving your stack of cards more and more toward a 50-50 split of high cards vs. But the prize? You get the opponent’s lower card! So the more cards you win, the more low cards you get. When you win a battle, it’s because you have a higher card than your opponent. The objective is to amass as many cards as possible. I mean, Monopoly and Risk can drag on for hours and hours, but eventually it becomes clear who’s going to win, and then eventually that person wins.īut War? It’s such a stupid game! Here’s why: I guess it’s statistically possibly for it to end, but I have never seen it end. But, using the rules I grew up with, the game literally never ends. Do you remember that card game called War? Was it only Gen X’ers like me who played this game as a kid? Do you older and younger folk also remember draggingly long afternoons when Mom was taking forever to start making dinner, and there was nothing on TV, and you had no one to play with except your staggeringly stupid younger sibling, or that staggeringly stupid kid next door, and there was nothing to do except play this draggingly long and staggeringly stupid card game that never ends?Īpparently, there are alternate rules whereby War can end.
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