If I don’t feel safe and secure in our relationship, I won’t be sending them. There is something thrilling about giving a part of yourself over to someone who could completely destroy you in an instant.Īny time someone I don’t know or don’t have a great relationship with asks me to send nudes, I don’t feel comfortable with sending them, even if the sex is great and thrilling. It is a symbol for me that I trust you with this intimate part of me and I trust that you will keep it safe, cherished, and to yourself. If I’m sending you nudes, it’s because I feel safe, protected, and secure in our relationship. My body is sacred, and I’m choosing to share it with you. And when I felt that way, I felt it was appropriate for our relationship to send them, at that time.īut it’s my body. Basically, people I had a relationship with.Īt the time, I saw things playing out long-term. I’ve sent nudes in the past to the men I’ve dated or spent a lot of time with. Sending nudes is a personal and intimate thing. Use your imagination.Įither way, you’re not going to get nudes from me, especially if we don’t know each other. If you want nudes that bad, I’m sure you can find some on the internet and then pretend it’s me. That being said, if you’re down for that, that’s your choice and I definitely don’t judge. And I feel it’s a little inappropriate to ask someone you barely know anyway. I don’t want some random guy out there with naked pictures of me. I said “no.” There are a few reasons why I say no to sending people nudes. Maybe some girls like being totally dominated, but I would actually like the person I’m dating to be kind, loving, understanding, and, I don’t know, not try to use manipulative tactics against a woman for his own personal gain. Just wondering where that sh*t got lost here. Not to him, apparently, because I got an additional slew of texts from him throwing a full-on temper tantrum because, again, he wasn’t getting his way.Ĭorrect me if I’m wrong, but I would think the “Oh, I understand where you’re coming from and I’m not going to pressure you into doing anything you don’t want to” response would be much more appropriate, kind, and loving. Maybe I am the wrong person to be spending your time with if I can’t give you those things.”Ī reasonable thing to say, in my opinion. So in a nice and loving way, I said, “Hey, it seems like there might be certain things you need and value and maybe I am just not the person who can give them to you. With all the things he asked of me and me saying, “Nah, I’m not comfortable, my man,” I was brought to the conclusion that this will probably end faster than it started. Look, I don’t know you, even if I knew your brother in high school. Because this wasn’t the first thing I told him I wasn’t comfortable with doing it and this also wasn’t the first low-key temper tantrum he threw for not getting his way. In his following texts, he told me that he hadn’t asked anyone for that in two years, as if trying to make me feel bad, guilt me into sending them because, well, he hadn’t asked anyone in a while. He delivered a very flat “okay,” which told me he was less than thrilled with my response, so naturally, I was triggered. I told him “no” in the nicest way, explaining why I wouldn’t be sending them (even though I was not obligated to). But since we weren’t hanging out, he asked me to send him nudes. Well, we couldn’t hang out one night because he had his kids. I knew from the get-go this thing wouldn’t last long and was upfront that I would continue dating because my end goal is to actually be in a committed relationship. But I was feeling daring, and it had been a while since I was with anyone, so we hooked up. Even though he said he was looking for something genuine initially. And the crazy thing? He was the older brother of someone I went to high school with. Honestly, ghosting is not my preferred choice, but he was a dick. The one guy I actually did “hang out” with, because apparently men in my generation don’t like taking women on dates anymore, ended up being so insecure and narcissistic that I ghosted him. I mean I tried apps, which isn’t really the greatest option. After months of processing my disdain for dating and the men I’ve dated.
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